Brooks Rocco

BREAKING: The Hamburgler is suing McDonalds for eleventy gajillion McNuggets

We could be spending our days posting about lunch, puppies, “what’s the deal with corn nuts,” etc. etc., but no they had to do a fascism

The best predictor of whether a podcast will be successful isn’t the quality of the content, but whether at least one of the hosts has an identifiably funny voice

Using your husband’s corpse to gain internet clout and build your personal brand is a new depth of depravity I didn’t think it was possible in the mainstream discourse. I am stunned.

If you’re not in the secondary group chat specifically created to make fun of the most insufferable person in the first group chat, I got some bad news for ya

Apple’s last few years have made it increasingly difficult to remember why people make/made this company their entire personality

Blind might be the most unapologetically racist social media platform I’ve ever seen, outside of the nChans, etc.

It’s actually an unbelievable experience gazing upon the unfiltered id of the tech industry.

Think I have a really good shot of winning the Powerball, since one of my talents is coming up with random bullshit

Pretty sure there’s a joke someone could make where the punchline is “LinkedIn Park,” but I’m too tired to think of it, so tired, tired of it all

Ran out of provisions on my journey from the 1 to the L, fearing I may die of dysentery

Remember Cybertrucks? Lol

Well, looks like it’s finally Fall so I guess I’ll turn off ‘Smooth’ by Santana feat. Rob Thomas from playing on infinite loop FINE

A healthy but gently shifting balance of curiosity, skepticism, perspicacity and whimsy, that’s the cocktail of the people I like most

J.R.R. Tolkien died September 2, 1973 which means there is a non-zero chance dude jammed out to the first four Black Sabbath albums

Can’t believe so much of modern cuisine is dependent entirely on the deposits from a chicken’s cluckhole

I once had a friend who literally only owned metal T-shirts. He did not own a single shirt that was not a metal T-shirt.

Most days he would typically wear Slayer, but for fancy occasions he’d break out his finest Def Leppard.

In the spring you dress like an Easter egg In the fall, you dress like a leaf

Physical copies of The New Yorker delivered straight to my door? Ugh, so tired of performative mail

Notes either go up or they go down, they either stop or they keep going. Tired of music, too predictable

One of these days I’m gonna have to decide if I’m gonna be a ‘Hawaiian Shirt Every Day’ old man, a ‘Colorful-Rimmed Glasses’ old man, or an ‘Iguana On The Shoulder’ old man