Living in New York is like: “is that Natasha Lyonne or just someone who looks like Natasha Lyonne?” over and over every day


Extremely excited to import all the Switch games I bought but never played to my Switch 2 where I also will not play them


I will stomp over every one of you mfing goombas to get my hands on a Switch 2


We’ve got to stop calling Elon Musk ‘the richest man in the world’. He is not.

He is the man who hoards the most wealth.

You are only rich if you are loved.


When you say that I’m “half right”, what you’re really saying is that I’m ‘0.5 right’, which according to my calculation rounds up to right


Computers are like a bicycle for the mind. They enable you to go faster than you thought possible, while enabling rigorous and healthy aerobic exercise.

LLMs are like riding an electric bike—you barely have to pedal!


My research has uncovered the exact moment America peaked


One cool thing about Dry January is you can wear a beer helmet to your meetings at work, and your boss can’t say anything because they’re NA!


I just opened my closet, caught a glimpse of a tank top, and reflexively scoffed at it—that’s how cold it is in New York right now


Threads: Say More (about Mark Zuckerberg pregnant)


That blessed moment between when you finish your first draft AND IT’S PERFECT AND BEAUTIFUL IN EVERY WAY…

🧘🏻‍♀️💫🧿

…and the avalanche of edit suggestions start rolling in proving very much otherwise


Apparently kids aren’t having sex anymore, so maybe the new ‘losing your virginity’ is seeing goatse for the first time?


This mid-week winter holiday season is tearing a hole in the Time-Card Continuum


Willem Dafoe implies the existence of Willem Dafriend


Jimmy Carter really said “no way I’m gonna let the orange guy bury me”


I do not like that Elon Musk I do not like him dawn or dusk I do not like his racist memes I don’t like how he treats his teams I don’t like how he pumps his stock It’s lazy PT Barnum schlock
As MAGA plans his epic fall That Elon Musk can suck my balls


Maybe today will be the day you press send on The Post that Changed the World


The worst thing about working in marketing is my career requires me to turn off Adblock and experience raw internet during working hours


Fun Fact: saving an article to your Read It Later app is 90% as satisfying as actually reading it


If Joe Rogan appears on your Spotify Wrapped, you can go ahead and unfollow me