Men would rather subscribe to a humanoid robot that’s really just some guy named Miroslav in an Oculus headset in Serbia who does their chores than go to therapy

NYC: Where it costs a lot to live in conservative heads rent-free

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on you again! You know how easily it is to fool me, NOT COOL

Refrigerators refrigerate. Toasters toast. Flowers
???

It’s better to have Louvred and lost than to never have Louvred before

The Guitar Hero/Rock Band Era was the zenith of technological progress and we should have just stopped there

There is a stockpile of nuclear takes in my drafts that while I would never post, I keep as a threat to deter aggression from other posters. Do not test me

Clearest sign that we live in a software simulation is that programming the ideal human-preferred room temp to 69°F is absolutely something an edgelord simulation dev would do

WHAT IF: Peter Thiel’s ‘Antichrist’ course is just an strategic SEO-play so when you google ‘Peter Thiel Antichrist’ you get deflection lectures instead of the in fact that he is indeed in league with the Antichrist

ANC so good you’ll miss every subway announcement and wind up on the other side of the city

“Michelangelo’s David” is apparently an unrealistic fitness goal, according to my trainer

Not even rose-colored glasses will allow me to look back on this period in America with rose-colored glasses

BREAKING: The Hamburgler is suing McDonalds for eleventy gajillion McNuggets

We could be spending our days posting about lunch, puppies, “what’s the deal with corn nuts,” etc. etc., but no they had to do a fascism

The best predictor of whether a podcast will be successful isn’t the quality of the content, but whether at least one of the hosts has an identifiably funny voice

Using your husband’s corpse to gain internet clout and build your personal brand is a new depth of depravity I didn’t think it was possible in the mainstream discourse. I am stunned.

If you’re not in the secondary group chat specifically created to make fun of the most insufferable person in the first group chat, I got some bad news for ya

Apple’s last few years have made it increasingly difficult to remember why people make/made this company their entire personality

Blind might be the most unapologetically racist social media platform I’ve ever seen, outside of the nChans, etc.

It’s actually an unbelievable experience gazing upon the unfiltered id of the tech industry.

Think I have a really good shot of winning the Powerball, since one of my talents is coming up with random bullshit