: Rent getting so high polyamory starting to make sense
: Rule number 1 for being a metalhead is you need to cultivate an exhaustive historiography of the …
: I drink protein beers I cry protein tears I got sunscreen yes queen soybean fears In my protein …
: It’s 2026 and you should know this already, but here’s a reminder that it is a desk concert that is …
: It’s fun to think how there’s probably several people out there who all have the same song stuck in …
: Even if I was an industry plant, I’d probably accidentally forget to water it
: I must be old because I logged into YouTube dot com and they didn’t even bother suggesting I tune …
: Tired of main character energy, what we need is more NPC energy. Confident. Collected. Singularly …
: I want my son to have every advantage in life, that’s why I named him Aaaaaron
: Hate all you want, but the branding agency that came up with the name ‘Red Delicious’ for that apple …
: My favorite thing about Australians is that anytime you do anything you’re a legend. Responded to an …
: Powerfull Ian McKellan voice: Timothée SHALL YOU MAY NOT!!!!!
: Ah, the sweet gentle sounds of the majestic Pickleballer returning to court, filling the crisp …
: One benefit of being on the brink of nuclear war is that the Polymarket betting odds of a nuclear …
: It’s called a ‘beret’ because you are guaranteed to get ‘berated’ by your friends for even thinking …
: Ever since I was a small child I knew I wanted to spend my time online calling out nitwits and …
: What we need is more RAWK in the Super Bowl! Here’s a list of a half-dozen culturally irrelevant …
: You make fun of people falling for “thirst traps,” but people are THIRSTY! You can DIE of thirst! …
: Hard to believe there was a time in which the world was in such relative stability that a ridiculous …
: People stopped saying ‘Happy New Year!’ around Day 3 of 2026, in case you were wondering how it’s …
: We’re living in historic times. Don’t let your future-self be disappointed that you didn’t do more.
: The holiday season officially ends when you take all the beautiful cards your friends sent you, …
: When MAGA said they were going to “bring back manufacturing,” what they meant was ‘manufactured …
: Ironic that the people most critical of Rama Duwaji’s boots are the same people who most love …
: Dry January starting with a long weekend; feels like we’re gonna lose some soldiers on the front …
: ‘Merry Christmas’ is short for Meriadoc Brandybuck Christmas
: PSA: only a few days left to ‘drive enterprise adoption,’ ‘streamline agentic workflows,’ ‘implement …
: The only thing Apple Intelligence has been good for is letting me know at a glance if the dozen …
: The best part of being an actor must be when you have to put on weight for a role; crushing Little …
: I’m like your least favorite poster’s least favorite poster
: When somebody says “you’re one in a million,” what they’re really saying is “there are at least …
: Meeting my team for coffee this morning, which means I’m meeting my team for my sixth coffee this …
: I put the ‘me’ in imposter syndrome
: I don’t fall for Starbucks propaganda that’s why I only listen to Ariana Medium
: Black Friday emails from brands are like letters from exes who just realized you’re the one that got …
: Me as an evil villain: I will just chill out in my evil lair for weeks, nay months, for the good …
: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles presents highly sanitized the version of what actually it goes down in …
: Nice face card, now let’s see your library card
: I love Thanksgiving mostly as a demonstration of mammalian phylogenetic dominance over the dinosaurs …
: One day in the not so distant future, everyone will claim to have always been anti-Trump.
: Yet another reminder that the world is run by disgusting men strategically concealing each other’s …
: Maybe people making $1M/year can cut down on their White Alba Truffle Kaluga Caviar 24-Karat Gold …
: That billionaires, and even potential trillionaires, still feel the need to post is proof that no …
: Due to inflation, Americans now see themselves as temporarily embarrassed billionaires
: Men would rather subscribe to a humanoid robot that’s really just some guy named Miroslav in an …
: NYC: Where it costs a lot to live in conservative heads rent-free
: Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on you again! You know how easily it is to fool me, …
: Refrigerators refrigerate. Toasters toast. Flowers…???
: It’s better to have Louvred and lost than to never have Louvred before
: The Guitar Hero/Rock Band Era was the zenith of technological progress and we should have just …
: There is a stockpile of nuclear takes in my drafts that while I would never post, I keep as a threat …
: Clearest sign that we live in a software simulation is that programming the ideal human-preferred …
: WHAT IF: Peter Thiel’s ‘Antichrist’ course is just an strategic SEO-play so when you google ‘Peter …
: ANC so good you’ll miss every subway announcement and wind up on the other side of the city
: “Michelangelo’s David” is apparently an unrealistic fitness goal, according to my trainer
: Not even rose-colored glasses will allow me to look back on this period in America with rose-colored …
: BREAKING: The Hamburgler is suing McDonalds for eleventy gajillion McNuggets
: We could be spending our days posting about lunch, puppies, “what’s the deal with corn nuts,” etc. …
: The best predictor of whether a podcast will be successful isn’t the quality of the content, but …
: Using your husband’s corpse to gain internet clout and build your personal brand is a new depth of …
: If you’re not in the secondary group chat specifically created to make fun of the most insufferable …
: Apple’s last few years have made it increasingly difficult to remember why people make/made this …
: Blind might be the most unapologetically racist social media platform I’ve ever seen, outside of the …
: Think I have a really good shot of winning the Powerball, since one of my talents is coming up with …
: Pretty sure there’s a joke someone could make where the punchline is “LinkedIn Park,” but I’m too …
: Ran out of provisions on my journey from the 1 to the L, fearing I may die of dysentery
: Well, looks like it’s finally Fall so I guess I’ll turn off ‘Smooth’ by Santana feat. Rob Thomas …
: A healthy but gently shifting balance of curiosity, skepticism, perspicacity and whimsy, that’s the …
: J.R.R. Tolkien died September 2, 1973 which means there is a non-zero chance dude jammed out to the …
: Can’t believe so much of modern cuisine is dependent entirely on the deposits from a chicken’s …
: I once had a friend who literally only owned metal T-shirts. He did not own a single shirt that was …
: In the spring you dress like an Easter egg In the fall, you dress like a leaf
: Physical copies of The New Yorker delivered straight to my door? Ugh, so tired of performative mail
: Notes either go up or they go down, they either stop or they keep going. Tired of music, too …
: One of these days I’m gonna have to decide if I’m gonna be a ‘Hawaiian Shirt Every Day’ old man, a …
: Your body is a temple. An ancient, crumbing, probably haunted temple
: Asking someone what they do for a living: so what kind of stuff do you type in your Google docs …
: Sometimes I miss the pandemic, I’m like an 8 or a 9 with a mask, hat, and sunglasses on
: If I was an incel edge-lord vibe coder in charge of programming the parameters of the Simulation we …
: Dudes will literally start a band just so they can stand back-to-back and lean on each other while …
: Love when Instagram decides to randomly shuffle the suggested contact DM list, like sure I’ll send …
: Not to brag, but ChatGPT just said I had a great idea 😎
: Every woman and child in America should file a restraining order against Donald Trump
: Getting to know my new Agentic AI Assistant by asking it to play ‘Two Truths & a Lie,’ or as the …
: Me at work: I may not have good jeans, but I do have great Slacks
: One thing I love about having close friends who are brilliant, successful, Titans of their field, …
: As soon as I have infinite time, energy, and resources, it’s over for you mfers
: Meta COULD ship a feature that warns you you’re about to send a Reel right back to the friend that …
: AI-powered kitty litter, who even cares any more
: I’ve never wished a working product trashed, but I do expect to toss some dead micro-usb devices …
: Combing through friends’ 15-year old Facebook photos and commenting: ‘AI slop’
: I know you’re supposed to buy clothes in the off-season to save some money, but I’m sorry I simply …
: I feel very fortunate to be just smart enough to be able to recognize what an incredible dummy I am
: Music is fun because everyone has opinions but only mine are correct
: Twitter is for maga and libertarian hackers that’s basically it
: Oasis this, Oasis that, maybe you should be looking for a way Sysyphean challenges can be overcome
: Gonna be some wild conversations across America today right around that fourth Yuengling
: Well, we made it 250 years. Can’t say we didn’t give it the ‘ole Electoral College try.
: Jake Paul is like the anti-DiCaprio: he only fights men 25+ years older than him
: I have very few true ironclad rules, but opening a reddit tab on a work computer is a line I will …
: Kinda insane that the ‘Dodge Charger’ isn’t an EV
: He’s called Bill Ackman because the natural response to his posts is “ack, man…”
: I am truly baffled by people who give away ~5% of their monitor space by not automatically hiding …
: Getting on the first page of results for ‘SEO’ is like the winning the Olympic gold medal for …
: We used to hunt gazelle and gather berries, now we just hunt Nintendo Switch 2s and gather berries …
: Dating app that algorithmically matches you to another person who sends all the same memes to their …
: A great name for a podcast about seo would be ‘podcast about seo’
: At this point, we’re closer to Metallica in their 80s than 80s Metallica
: It was cloudy and miserable last weekend and sunny and gorgeous today, if you’re the type of person …
: Me deciding who to send an Instagram Reel to: hmmm which of my friends is sick in the head enough …
: Kinda miss the golden days of the pandemic, I was like a 9 with that mask on
: From what I’ve been gathering, today’s update of the Chase Sapphire Reserve benefits package has …
: I put the ‘Post’ in ‘Imposter Syndrome’
: Whoever named it ‘the funny bone’ was not a student of comedy
: We’ll know AGI has been achieved when there’s a model capable of convincing Ilya Sutskever to just …
: I don’t know who needs to hear this but shut the fuck up
: I don’t know he needs to hear this, but if she hasn’t sent you a meme back in months, it’s time to …
: It’s very simple: the world is run by disgusting men strategically hiding each other’s secrets
: I am once again requesting a United Nations for keyboard shortcuts, we have got to align on Cmd-K …
: A lot of people in tech have taken enough of the drug that leads to the explosive realization that …
: Guitarists always carrying a guitar pick in their pocket as if they expect to stumble upon a wall of …
: Guy who invented the paradiddle: I shall call this a ‘paradiddle’
: Elon Musk is what happens in a game of Mario Kart without any blue shells
: Music theory is how you learn that some chords are sus
: 9:30am — today’s the day I blow through my to do list and knock it all out 3:30pm — eh maybe …
: In some sense, we must respect Jordan Peterson’s commitment to always being the most annoying person …
: Learning about AlphaEvolve and yeah ok, AGI is definitely coming soon
: Risky business sending me a meme: if I’ve never seen it, you could become a legend; if I already …
: I’m like a werewolf but instead of the full moon it’s the work week that turns me into a monster
: One thing I do miss from the era of physical media was how you could go to the house of a person …
: Kinda sad that the honeymoon period for the MAGA chuds who bought Cybertrucks is so deeply and …
: Me: Asking the Canadian Pirate if he uses ChatGPT Him: “AI? Aye, eh…”
: Got an idea, an APP… for everything
: We can make fun of tech founders for inventing the bus every few years, but that pales in comparison …
: Remind me to never be an attractive woman in tech, sounds awful
: Call it what it is (asking your friends to help you move by promising them a couple 6-packs and a …
: I’m not one to throw perfectly working electronics into the ocean just for the sake of convenience, …
: Growing up, my Dad’s rule for using the phone on the weekends was “don’t call anyone before 10am on …
: Most attractive thing a human can do in public* is be seen deeply engrossed in a physical book. …
: Wait, so getting a promotion you have to work more?? “Congratulations, sucker!!”
: You don’t just come into this earth posting. You have to live, have experiences, love, loss, …
: Mark Zuckerberg buying a $23 million home in Washington to curry favor with Trump, is the financial …
: Beatles hot take: ‘Let it Be… Naked’ is so vastly superior to ‘Let it Be’ that the original is …
: Hot Wheels really has the market cornered on the $1-2 toy you can get for your kid to avoid a public …
: The first real crack in reality occurred sometime around 2003 when we collectively accepted that the …
: The greatest lie the devil ever told is that the best part of waking up is Folgers in your cup
: One cool thing about Google Docs document history is it doesn’t log which of your coworkers switched …
: How do I get the Stone Cold Steve Austin theme to play every time I enter a Zoom meeting
: Your coworker’s a 10 but they don’t default to Pageless Google Docs
: Not to give MrBeast any ideas, but he could probably launch a nationwide Easter Egg hunt and watch …
: One cool thing about having Italian ancestry is it grants you unimpeachable license to pronounce …
: Drastic times call for drastic measures. It’s time to launch Operation GOATSE: Government Overreach …
: “This is not who we are as a nation…” whimpers Dem leadership as Lara Trump installed as Chief …
: What do people with photographic memories do with all those 2FA codes?
: Don’t worry guys, we’ve only got 207 more weeks of the second Trump presidency to …
: Kinda funny how MAGA lunatic Billy Ray Cyrus’ late-career revival was catalyzed entirely by riding …
: REAL EYES REALIZE KPIs (me trying my hardest to focus at work)
: Living in New York is like: “is that Natasha Lyonne or just someone who looks like Natasha Lyonne?” …
: Extremely excited to import all the Switch games I bought but never played to my Switch 2 where I …
: I will stomp over every one of you mfing goombas to get my hands on a Switch 2
: We’ve got to stop calling Elon Musk ‘the richest man in the world’. He is not. He is the man who …
: When you say that I’m “half right”, what you’re really saying is that I’m ‘0.5 right’, which …
: Computers are like a bicycle for the mind. They enable you to go faster than you thought possible, …
: My research has uncovered the exact moment America peaked
: One cool thing about Dry January is you can wear a beer helmet to your meetings at work, and your …
: I just opened my closet, caught a glimpse of a tank top, and reflexively scoffed at it—that’s how …
: Threads: Say More (about Mark Zuckerberg pregnant)
: That blessed moment between when you finish your first draft AND IT’S PERFECT AND BEAUTIFUL IN …
: Apparently kids aren’t having sex anymore, so maybe the new ‘losing your virginity’ is seeing goatse …
: This mid-week winter holiday season is tearing a hole in the Time-Card Continuum
: Willem Dafoe implies the existence of Willem Dafriend
: Jimmy Carter really said “no way I’m gonna let the orange guy bury me”
: I do not like that Elon Musk I do not like him dawn or dusk I do not like his racist memes I don’t …
: Maybe today will be the day you press send on The Post that Changed the World
: The worst thing about working in marketing is my career requires me to turn off Adblock and …
: Fun Fact: saving an article to your Read It Later app is 90% as satisfying as actually reading it
: If Joe Rogan appears on your Spotify Wrapped, you can go ahead and unfollow me
: The amount of times I try to hyperlink text in Slack by using Cmd-K and am reprimanded into using …
: I know I live in a bubble because apparently AirPods Max are “not a hot seller,” and yet I feel like …
: Me leaving the house with 100% battery: anything is possible, the world is mine for the taking Me …
: ‘The Beatles’ might be the most successful pun of all time
: Going to therapy to understand what childhood trauma led me unable to simply settle for Apple Notes
: “My life isn’t going exactly as planned. Maybe what I need is a new note-taking app.” - Me, …
: We all just see ourselves as temporarily embarrassed million-follower accounts.
: Wild that Father John Misty, a man who literally had a public breakdown on stage about the fascist …
: Don’t talk to me until I’ve had my coffee / read everything ever posted on the internet
: Already huge accounts with massive followings bragging about how fast they are accruing Bluesky …
: I feels as if ever since Trump was reelected it’s been getting darker earlier and earlier…
: Apple won’t bring markdown into Notes until they can figure a way to brand it Apple Typing or …
: I’m actually incapable of imagining a story I’d want to read less than one about Mark …
: 3-day weekends make it glaringly obvious that 2-days is simply not enough time to decompress from …
: Sliced Bread really must have blown people’s fucking minds
: I’m sorry but I simply cannot handle the New Yorker’s diaeresis at a time like this
: Trusting no one from here on out, turns out escalators CAN break
: America is a monster There was a sense of bemused detachment in 2016 as the win seemed like a fluke, that a lot of people …
: Feeling gratitude that Cybertruck owners have but one vote 🙏
: “Are you better off than you were 4 years ago?”
: BEHOLD: the mystical amulet that wards away donation texts… find one at your nearest polling place…
: The ‘270 to to Win’ map is like March Madness for people who were almost certainly the recipient of …
: I am extremely, distressingly, disturbingly, self-destructively online, and I have never heard of …
: “Our polling is a little different. We take polling, but we also combine it with AI, which…” I’m …
: It’s also a vote: for much less dramala to heal the traumala the Oxford commala potent marijuanala …
: It will be interesting to see if a President Harris enters her first term as an Obama-like …
: So many ‘Secret Family Recipes Passed Down from Generation to Generation’ are just whatever happened …
: Here’s how it plays out: Trump loses the election Elon loses his citizenship Trump imprisoned Elon …
: A fun thing to think about is how of the approximately 3 million rats in New York City, there is one …
: FaceID is the sole judge of Halloween costumes. If you’re being forced to enter your password, …
: I hope y’all are looking at your spouses the same way some y’all looking at these M4 MacBook Pros
: Reflecting on the fact that studies consistently show that immigrants—including the undocumented—are …
: “Our profession is now the least trusted of all. Something we are doing is clearly not working.”
: Who else is excited for President Harris to DRAIN THE SWAMP
: I cannot begin to describe to you how satisfying this thing was to flip open and slam closed.
: “If you want something you’ve never had, you’ve got to do something you’ve …
: As soon as I organize my notes into a hybrid system combining elements from the Johnny Decimal …
: Question: I’m doing a reference check on a potential hire, and I got this feedback: “OH …
: Let us now pray for Trump, Psalm 109:8 🙏
: Don’t trust the polls. Just vote your face off. One reason I don’t trust the polls is that I’ve been recently called to participate in a phone …
: Voting is like like a test that you ace when your marks are straight D’s
: I spent like 10 minutes today trying to find the perfect photo of the Insane Clown Posse standing in …
: One cool thing about having a kid is now you have kids’ snacks all over the house. Why yes, I do …
: The only legitimately funny and good thing I’ve ever seen ‘generated’ by ‘AI’ is that podcast by …
: Part of me wants to delete all social media and move to the forest and forage for my essential …
: I’ve met two people now over the past few weeks that told me they not only use their standing …
: Finance bros be like: that guy’s wearing $1,200 Italian brown leather shoes, but I’m wearing $1,300 …
: Ppl at work be like: Happy Monday! Happy Tuesday! Happy Wednesday! Happy Thursday! Happy Friday!
: Conspiracy I believe to be true: Last Week Tonight airs at 11pm on Sunday specifically NOT to be …
: The best description of 4chan I ever heard was “geniuses pretending to be idiots, and idiots …
: Every two years or so I rediscover Yerba maté and think “yes rainforest mother, grant me earth …
: The term ‘bodacious’ is a portmanteau of the words bold and audacious, which means you absolutely …
: 🎵 you don’t always have to work out hard
: You ever wake up and it’s Monday morning and you’re like AHHHHHHH and all of a sudden …
: The Lord of the Rings Trilogy was filmed in the final years before the 9/11 attack, and was released …
: Whenever you find yourself thinking that what you do for a living is meaningless, remember that …
: Love being described as a ‘Knowledge Worker’. Workin’ that knowledge. Shovel it, stack it, bend it, …
: Better to be the Enemy Within than the Enemy Without, as I like to say
: I hope my midlife crisis includes more than just like, buying clothes from Marine Layer
: Thinking about the time the German billionaire founder of the supermarket chain Aldi was kidnapped, …
: Scrolling through the list of people who liked my post thinking: they’re all so proud of me 🤗
: Feel bad for people who drive Maseratis. Like yeah you’re rich, but you’re clearly not as rich as …