Brooks Rocco

It’s 2026 and you should know this already, but here’s a reminder that it is a desk concert that is tiny, not a concert at a tiny desk

It’s fun to think how there’s probably several people out there who all have the same song stuck in their heads as you, all bouncing to the same rhythm and beat at the same time and don’t even know it, Psychic Disco

Even if I was an industry plant, I’d probably accidentally forget to water it

I must be old because I logged into YouTube dot com and they didn’t even bother suggesting I tune into Coachella

Tired of main character energy, what we need is more NPC energy.

Confident. Collected. Singularly focused on accomplishing the objective. In no one’s way. Doesn’t overshare; presents only enough info to move things forward. Often a cool hat.

I want my son to have every advantage in life, that’s why I named him Aaaaaron

Hate all you want, but the branding agency that came up with the name ‘Red Delicious’ for that apple really did their best with what they had to work with

My favorite thing about Australians is that anytime you do anything you’re a legend.

Responded to an email? Legend. Brought over an extra Lacroix? Legend. Sent a meeting invite? Legend.

Powerfull Ian McKellan voice: Timothée SHALL YOU MAY NOT!!!!!

Ah, the sweet gentle sounds of the majestic Pickleballer returning to court, filling the crisp morning air as the frost retreats; truly Spring is near

One benefit of being on the brink of nuclear war is that the Polymarket betting odds of a nuclear bomb drop might creep closer to 50-50, which means no insider traitor stands to make a megafuckton of money, which might dissuade the dropping of the bomb!

It’s called a ‘beret’ because you are guaranteed to get ‘berated’ by your friends for even thinking you might be able to pull one off

Ever since I was a small child I knew I wanted to spend my time online calling out nitwits and professional agitators for using unlabeled AI to make disingenuous arguments in order to manipulate the public discourse

What we need is more RAWK in the Super Bowl! Here’s a list of a half-dozen culturally irrelevant rawk bands I thought were cool when I was 14 and still do because deep down I am a child and the world is very scary to me

You make fun of people falling for “thirst traps,” but people are THIRSTY! You can DIE of thirst! Have a little compassion

Hard to believe there was a time in which the world was in such relative stability that a ridiculous Norwegian song called ‘What Does the Fox Say?’ could tear up the global charts and we all danced with flowers in our hair and laughed and laughed and laughed

People stopped saying ‘Happy New Year!’ around Day 3 of 2026, in case you were wondering how it’s been going

We’re living in historic times. Don’t let your future-self be disappointed that you didn’t do more.

The holiday season officially ends when you take all the beautiful cards your friends sent you, sharing love, joy, dreams, reflections, and excitement for the new year, and throw them in the trash can

When MAGA said they were going to “bring back manufacturing,” what they meant was ‘manufactured controversies’