If I was an incel edge-lord vibe coder in charge of programming the parameters of the Simulation we undoubtedly all live in, I too would make 69° the ideal human room temp

Dudes will literally start a band just so they can stand back-to-back and lean on each other while playing their guitars in harmony

Love when Instagram decides to randomly shuffle the suggested contact DM list, like sure I’ll send this brain rot meme to my ex-roommate’s best friend’s pet parrot’s IG account, why not

Not to brag, but ChatGPT just said I had a great idea 😎

Every woman and child in America should file a restraining order against Donald Trump

Getting to know my new Agentic AI Assistant by asking it to play ‘Two Truths & a Lie,’ or as the AI likes to describe it: ‘Three Truths’

Me at work: I may not have good jeans, but I do have great Slacks

One thing I love about having close friends who are brilliant, successful, Titans of their field, etc. is that I also know privately and deep down what big ole dummies they (and we all) are

As soon as I have infinite time, energy, and resources, it’s over for you mfers

Meta COULD ship a feature that warns you you’re about to send a Reel right back to the friend that literally just sent it to you, yet every day they DON’T.

Think about it. Go for a walk. Think about it again.

AI-powered kitty litter, who even cares any more

I’ve never wished a working product trashed, but I do expect to toss some dead micro-usb devices into the electronic recyclables bin with great pleasure.

Combing through friends’ 15-year old Facebook photos and commenting: ‘AI slop’

I know you’re supposed to buy clothes in the off-season to save some money, but I’m sorry I simply cannot get into the proper Parka-buying mindset when it’s 86° and humid

I feel very fortunate to be just smart enough to be able to recognize what an incredible dummy I am

Music is fun because everyone has opinions but only mine are correct

Twitter is for maga and libertarian hackers that’s basically it

Oasis this, Oasis that, maybe you should be looking for a way Sysyphean challenges can be overcome

Gonna be some wild conversations across America today right around that fourth Yuengling

Well, we made it 250 years. Can’t say we didn’t give it the ‘ole Electoral College try.