Finance bros be like: that guy’s wearing $1,200 Italian brown leather shoes, but I’m wearing $1,300 Italian brown leather shoes

Ppl at work be like:

Happy Monday! Happy Tuesday! Happy Wednesday! Happy Thursday! Happy Friday!

Conspiracy I believe to be true: Last Week Tonight airs at 11pm on Sunday specifically NOT to be watched at 11pm on Sunday.

It’s designed to be watched Monday morning or at lunch breaks to maximize ambient exposure/water cooler talk by the target demo of college-educated white collar professionals

It’s really that simple

The best description of 4chan I ever heard was “geniuses pretending to be idiots, and idiots pretending to be geniuses” and I think that now generally applies to the internet as a whole

Every two years or so I rediscover Yerba matĂ© and think “yes rainforest mother, grant me earth energy and guide my creative explorations throughout inner and outer space” and convince myself it’s delicious and doesn’t taste like dirt

The term ‘bodacious’ is a portmanteau of the words bold and audacious, which means you absolutely can (and should) describe your Q4 OKRs as ‘bodacious’

đŸŽ” you don’t always have to work out hard

You ever wake up and it’s Monday morning and you’re like AHHHHHHH and all of a sudden it’s Friday night, and you’re like ahhh… and then 5 seconds later it’s Monday again and you’re like AHHHHHHH

The Lord of the Rings Trilogy was filmed in the final years before the 9/11 attack, and was released just a few months after it.

Meaning, it’s quite possibly the last epic cultural document created in the before-times, and was one of the first chances to experience magic again in the after-times.

Whenever you find yourself thinking that what you do for a living is meaningless, remember that Apple employs people that work on the Contacts app

Love being described as a ‘Knowledge Worker’. Workin’ that knowledge. Shovel it, stack it, bend it, smack it.

Shaping towering towers of knowledge, then knocking it over because knowledge is power

Better to be the Enemy Within than the Enemy Without, as I like to say

I hope my midlife crisis includes more than just like, buying clothes from Marine Layer

Thinking about the time the German billionaire founder of the supermarket chain Aldi was kidnapped, paid the ransom, then tried to write the ransom as a tax deduction.

Scrolling through the list of people who liked my post thinking: they’re all so proud of me đŸ€—

Feel bad for people who drive Maseratis. Like yeah you’re rich, but you’re clearly not as rich as you want to be
 are you not hitting your goals? You ok there, champ?