Most attractive thing a human can do in public* is be seen deeply engrossed in a physical book.
*except of course for whatever twisted thing youâre thinking of right now, gross ew
You don’t just come into this earth posting. You have to live, have experiences, love, loss, love againâonly then can you truly post.
Mark Zuckerberg buying a $23 million home in Washington to curry favor with Trump, is the financial equivalent to me buying a Lego Batmobile to curry favor with my four-year-old
Beatles hot take: âLet it Be⊠Nakedâ is so vastly superior to âLet it Beâ that the original is irrelevant, except as a historical archive
Hot Wheels really has the market cornered on the $1-2 toy you can get for your kid to avoid a public meltdown in Target
The first real crack in reality occurred sometime around 2003 when we collectively accepted that the word âliterallyâ meant both âliterallyâ and ânot literallyâ
One cool thing about Google Docs document history is it doesnât log which of your coworkers switched your Paged doc to Pageless (it was me)
Not to give MrBeast any ideas, but he could probably launch a nationwide Easter Egg hunt and watch half of America murder each other for the chance to find a cheap dozen
One cool thing about having Italian ancestry is it grants you unimpeachable license to pronounce mozzarella as âMOOT-ZA-RELLLLLLLE đ€đ€đ€â
Drastic times call for drastic measures.
Itâs time to launch Operation GOATSE: Government Overreach and Authoritarian Threat Safegarding Effort
âThis is not who we are as a nationâŠâ whimpers Dem leadership as Lara Trump installed as Chief Justice of the Supreme Leader of the United States of X
Don’t worry guys, we’ve only got 207 more weeks of the second Trump presidency to goâwe’re 0.48% of the way there!
Kinda funny how MAGA lunatic Billy Ray Cyrusâ late-career revival was catalyzed entirely by riding the coattails of a fabulous queer black dude