Iâm like a werewolf but instead of the full moon itâs the work week that turns me into a monster
One thing I do miss from the era of physical media was how you could go to the house of a person youâve never really met and quickly scan their CD tower to instantly get a complete read on who they really are
Kinda sad that the honeymoon period for the MAGA chuds who bought Cybertrucks is so deeply and pitifully over, in that theyâre no longer âsticking it to âem!â every time they climb into their corroding industrial refrigerator on wheels, theyâre just⊠forced to drive a shitty car
We can make fun of tech founders for inventing the bus every few years, but that pales in comparison to inventing the entire concept of âworkâ

Call it what it is (asking your friends to help you move by promising them a couple 6-packs and a cheese pizza): ITâS A BRIBE
Iâm not one to throw perfectly working electronics into the ocean just for the sake of convenience, but I will say that I cannot wait for the day I no longer have a single Micro USB-charging device in my household
Growing up, my Dadâs rule for using the phone on the weekends was âdonât call anyone before 10am on Saturdays, and donât call anyone before 11am on Sundays.â
Times have certainly changedânow the rule is âdonât call anyone ever for any reason whatsoeverâ
Most attractive thing a human can do in public* is be seen deeply engrossed in a physical book.
*except of course for whatever twisted thing youâre thinking of right now, gross ew
You don’t just come into this earth posting. You have to live, have experiences, love, loss, love againâonly then can you truly post.
Mark Zuckerberg buying a $23 million home in Washington to curry favor with Trump, is the financial equivalent to me buying a Lego Batmobile to curry favor with my four-year-old
Beatles hot take: âLet it Be⊠Nakedâ is so vastly superior to âLet it Beâ that the original is irrelevant, except as a historical archive
Hot Wheels really has the market cornered on the $1-2 toy you can get for your kid to avoid a public meltdown in Target
The first real crack in reality occurred sometime around 2003 when we collectively accepted that the word âliterallyâ meant both âliterallyâ and ânot literallyâ
One cool thing about Google Docs document history is it doesnât log which of your coworkers switched your Paged doc to Pageless (it was me)