That blessed moment between when you finish your first draft AND IT’S PERFECT AND BEAUTIFUL IN EVERY WAY…

🧘🏻‍♀️💫🧿

…and the avalanche of edit suggestions start rolling in proving very much otherwise

Apparently kids aren’t having sex anymore, so maybe the new ‘losing your virginity’ is seeing goatse for the first time?

This mid-week winter holiday season is tearing a hole in the Time-Card Continuum

Willem Dafoe implies the existence of Willem Dafriend

Jimmy Carter really said “no way I’m gonna let the orange guy bury me”

I do not like that Elon Musk I do not like him dawn or dusk I do not like his racist memes I don’t like how he treats his teams I don’t like how he pumps his stock It’s lazy PT Barnum schlock
As MAGA plans his epic fall That Elon Musk can suck my balls

Maybe today will be the day you press send on The Post that Changed the World

The worst thing about working in marketing is my career requires me to turn off Adblock and experience raw internet during working hours

Fun Fact: saving an article to your Read It Later app is 90% as satisfying as actually reading it

If Joe Rogan appears on your Spotify Wrapped, you can go ahead and unfollow me

The amount of times I try to hyperlink text in Slack by using Cmd-K and am reprimanded into using Cmd-V is TOO DAMN HIGH

I know I live in a bubble because apparently AirPods Max are “not a hot seller,” and yet I feel like I’m seeing 1 in 6 people walking around my neighborhood using them as ultra-luxe earmuffs.

Me leaving the house with 100% battery: anything is possible, the world is mine for the taking

Me leaving the house with 97% battery: I may not come back alive

‘The Beatles’ might be the most successful pun of all time

Going to therapy to understand what childhood trauma led me unable to simply settle for Apple Notes

“My life isn’t going exactly as planned. Maybe what I need is a new note-taking app.” - Me, frequently (and I’m willing to bet You, frequently)

We all just see ourselves as temporarily embarrassed million-follower accounts.

Wild that Father John Misty, a man who literally had a public breakdown on stage about the fascist creep and ascendancy of Trump, has no problem posting on Twitter

Don’t talk to me until I’ve had my coffee / read everything ever posted on the internet

Already huge accounts with massive followings bragging about how fast they are accruing Bluesky follows is not as an attractive look as they seem to think it is