America is a monster
There was a sense of bemused detachment in 2016 as the win seemed like a fluke, that a lot of people YOLO-voted ļæ¼without any real idea or expectation for what it meant.
That absolutely cannot be said about today.
We all know who he is. We all know what heās going to do. And so much of this country either doesnāt care, and/or expects Jesus to return, and/or plans to profit immensely on the carnage.
The American āexperimentā has mutated into something grotesque.
ļæ¼America is a monster.
And what nowāwe have to slowly rebuild enthusiasm for the next go around?
Iām sick to my stomach. But also deeply afraid for my friends in communities who will inevitably feel the brunt of the carnage to come.
I cried a bit walking past school children this morning, too young to know what just happened. The light of hope and dreams still in their eyes, on this 79Ā° day in November.
Iām so sorry.
BEHOLD: the mystical amulet that wards away donation textsā¦ find one at your nearest polling placeā¦
The ā270 to to Winā map is like March Madness for people who were almost certainly the recipient of at least one atomic wedgie in elementary school
I am extremely, distressingly, disturbingly, self-destructively online, and I have never heard of this squirrel.
But sure MAGA, this should absolutely be your closing argument to the American people. Gonna work wonders.
āOur polling is a little different. We take polling, but we also combine it with AI, whichā¦ā
Iām gonna stop you right there, Kari Lake. You gonna lose.
Itās also a vote:
- for much less dramala
- to heal the traumala
- the Oxford commala
- potent marijuanala
- vacations in the Bahamalas
- āIn Uteroā by Nirvanala
- Task management with Asanala
It will be interesting to see if a President Harris enters her first term as an Obama-like ‘uniter of a divided nation,’ or a law & order President committed to bringing to justice those responsible for exploiting and breaking laws that led us to this point in the first place
So many āSecret Family Recipes Passed Down from Generation to Generationā are just whatever happened to be on the back of the Betty Crocker box on May 10th, 1953
Hereās how it plays out:
- Trump loses the election
- Elon loses his citizenship
- Trump imprisoned
- Elon imprisoned
- Tucker Carlsonās demon manifests on earth and devours all Republicans
- Turns out that was The Rapture
- Talking Heads reunite for a dance party that lasts 10,000 years
A fun thing to think about is how of the approximately 3 million rats in New York City, there is one rat that is the biggest one of them all, and it is sitting somewhere right now, at this moment, breathing deeply in and out, quietly chanting your nameā¦
FaceID is the sole judge of Halloween costumes.
If youāre being forced to enter your password, congrats: youāve done a good job.
I hope yāall are looking at your spouses the same way some yāall looking at these M4 MacBook Pros
Reflecting on the fact that studies consistently show that immigrantsāincluding the undocumentedāare less likely to commit crimes than U.S.-born citizens.
āOur profession is now the least trusted of all. Something we are doing is clearly not working.ā
