Archive
Full Post List
Jan 17, 2025: Living in New York is like: “is that Natasha Lyonne or just someone who looks like Natasha Lyonne?” over and over every day
Jan 16, 2025: Extremely excited to import all the Switch games I bought but never played to my Switch 2 where I also will not play them
Jan 16, 2025: I will stomp over every one of you mfing goombas to get my hands on a Switch 2
Jan 11, 2025: We’ve got to stop calling Elon Musk ‘the richest man in the world’. He is not. He is the man who hoards the most wealth. You are only rich if you are …
Jan 10, 2025: When you say that I’m “half right”, what you’re really saying is that I’m ‘0.5 right’, which according to my calculation rounds up to right
Jan 10, 2025: Computers are like a bicycle for the mind. They enable you to go faster than you thought possible, while enabling rigorous and healthy aerobic …
Jan 9, 2025: My research has uncovered the exact moment America peaked
Jan 9, 2025: One cool thing about Dry January is you can wear a beer helmet to your meetings at work, and your boss can’t say anything because they’re NA!
Jan 8, 2025: I just opened my closet, caught a glimpse of a tank top, and reflexively scoffed at it—that’s how cold it is in New York right now
Jan 8, 2025: Threads: Say More (about Mark Zuckerberg pregnant)
Jan 6, 2025: That blessed moment between when you finish your first draft AND IT’S PERFECT AND BEAUTIFUL IN EVERY WAY… 🧘🏻♀️💫🧿 …and the …
Jan 4, 2025: Apparently kids aren’t having sex anymore, so maybe the new ‘losing your virginity’ is seeing goatse for the first time?
Jan 3, 2025: This mid-week winter holiday season is tearing a hole in the Time-Card Continuum
Dec 29, 2024: Willem Dafoe implies the existence of Willem Dafriend
Dec 29, 2024: Jimmy Carter really said “no way I’m gonna let the orange guy bury me”
Dec 28, 2024: I do not like that Elon Musk I do not like him dawn or dusk I do not like his racist memes I don’t like how he treats his teams I don’t like how he …
Dec 16, 2024: Maybe today will be the day you press send on The Post that Changed the World
Dec 5, 2024: The worst thing about working in marketing is my career requires me to turn off Adblock and experience raw internet during working hours
Dec 4, 2024: Fun Fact: saving an article to your Read It Later app is 90% as satisfying as actually reading it
Dec 4, 2024: If Joe Rogan appears on your Spotify Wrapped, you can go ahead and unfollow me
Dec 4, 2024: The amount of times I try to hyperlink text in Slack by using Cmd-K and am reprimanded into using Cmd-V is TOO DAMN HIGH
Dec 3, 2024: I know I live in a bubble because apparently AirPods Max are “not a hot seller,” and yet I feel like I’m seeing 1 in 6 people walking around my …
Nov 30, 2024: Me leaving the house with 100% battery: anything is possible, the world is mine for the taking Me leaving the house with 97% battery: I may not come …
Nov 29, 2024: ‘The Beatles’ might be the most successful pun of all time
Nov 29, 2024: Going to therapy to understand what childhood trauma led me unable to simply settle for Apple Notes
Nov 28, 2024: “My life isn’t going exactly as planned. Maybe what I need is a new note-taking app.” - Me, frequently (and I’m willing to bet You, frequently)
Nov 25, 2024: We all just see ourselves as temporarily embarrassed million-follower accounts.
Nov 23, 2024: Wild that Father John Misty, a man who literally had a public breakdown on stage about the fascist creep and ascendancy of Trump, has no problem …
Nov 22, 2024: Don’t talk to me until I’ve had my coffee / read everything ever posted on the internet
Nov 18, 2024: Already huge accounts with massive followings bragging about how fast they are accruing Bluesky follows is not as an attractive look as they seem to …
Nov 15, 2024: I feels as if ever since Trump was reelected it’s been getting darker earlier and earlier…
Nov 15, 2024: Apple won’t bring markdown into Notes until they can figure a way to brand it Apple Typing or something annoying like that
Nov 13, 2024: I’m actually incapable of imagining a story I’d want to read less than one about Mark Zuckerberg recording a song with T-Pain
Nov 11, 2024: 3-day weekends make it glaringly obvious that 2-days is simply not enough time to decompress from being a monster for 5-days, remember how to be a …
Nov 10, 2024: Sliced Bread really must have blown people’s fucking minds
Nov 7, 2024: I’m sorry but I simply cannot handle the New Yorker’s diaeresis at a time like this
Nov 7, 2024: Trusting no one from here on out, turns out escalators CAN break
Nov 6, 2024: America is a monster There was a sense of bemused detachment in 2016 as the win seemed like a fluke, that a lot of people YOLO-voted without any real idea or expectation …
Nov 5, 2024: Feeling gratitude that Cybertruck owners have but one vote 🙏
Nov 5, 2024: “Are you better off than you were 4 years ago?”
Nov 5, 2024: BEHOLD: the mystical amulet that wards away donation texts… find one at your nearest polling place…
Nov 4, 2024: The ‘270 to to Win’ map is like March Madness for people who were almost certainly the recipient of at least one atomic wedgie in elementary school
Nov 4, 2024: I am extremely, distressingly, disturbingly, self-destructively online, and I have never heard of this squirrel. But sure MAGA, this should absolutely …
Nov 4, 2024: “Our polling is a little different. We take polling, but we also combine it with AI, which…” I’m gonna stop you right there, Kari Lake. You gonna …
Nov 3, 2024: It’s also a vote: for much less dramala to heal the traumala the Oxford commala potent marijuanala vacations in the Bahamalas ‘In Utero’ by Nirvanala …
Nov 3, 2024: It will be interesting to see if a President Harris enters her first term as an Obama-like ‘uniter of a divided nation,’ or a law & …
Nov 2, 2024: So many ‘Secret Family Recipes Passed Down from Generation to Generation’ are just whatever happened to be on the back of the Betty Crocker box on May …
Nov 1, 2024: Here’s how it plays out: Trump loses the election Elon loses his citizenship Trump imprisoned Elon imprisoned Tucker Carlson’s demon manifests on …
Nov 1, 2024: A fun thing to think about is how of the approximately 3 million rats in New York City, there is one rat that is the biggest one of them all, and it …
Oct 31, 2024: FaceID is the sole judge of Halloween costumes. If you’re being forced to enter your password, congrats: you’ve done a good job.
Oct 30, 2024: I hope y’all are looking at your spouses the same way some y’all looking at these M4 MacBook Pros
Oct 30, 2024: Reflecting on the fact that studies consistently show that immigrants—including the undocumented—are less likely to commit crimes than U.S.-born …
Oct 28, 2024: “Our profession is now the least trusted of all. Something we are doing is clearly not working.”
Oct 26, 2024: Who else is excited for President Harris to DRAIN THE SWAMP
Oct 26, 2024: I cannot begin to describe to you how satisfying this thing was to flip open and slam closed.
Oct 26, 2024: “If you want something you’ve never had, you’ve got to do something you’ve never done” is the most terrifying yet 100% …
Oct 26, 2024: As soon as I organize my notes into a hybrid system combining elements from the Johnny Decimal methodology and the PARA approach as devised by Tiago …
Oct 25, 2024: Question: I’m doing a reference check on a potential hire, and I got this feedback: “OH MY GOD, do NOT hire this person. I worked with …
Oct 25, 2024: Let us now pray for Trump, Psalm 109:8 🙏
Oct 25, 2024: Don’t trust the polls. Just vote your face off. One reason I don’t trust the polls is that I’ve been recently called to participate in a phone survey, and even in deep blue NYC, I felt a twinge of …
Oct 24, 2024: Voting is like like a test that you ace when your marks are straight D’s
Oct 24, 2024: LFV 🚀
Oct 23, 2024: I spent like 10 minutes today trying to find the perfect photo of the Insane Clown Posse standing in front of a big circus tent, just so I could make …
Oct 23, 2024: One cool thing about having a kid is now you have kids’ snacks all over the house. Why yes, I do think I’ll snack on some Goldfish! Peanut butter …
Oct 22, 2024: The only legitimately funny and good thing I’ve ever seen ‘generated’ by ‘AI’ is that podcast by NotebookLM where they spend 10-minutes dissecting a …
Oct 22, 2024: Part of me wants to delete all social media and move to the forest and forage for my essential needs. Another part of me knows I’d immediately …
Oct 22, 2024: I’ve met two people now over the past few weeks that told me they not only use their standing desk while working from home, but STAND 100% OF …
Oct 22, 2024: Finance bros be like: that guy’s wearing $1,200 Italian brown leather shoes, but I’m wearing $1,300 Italian brown leather shoes
Oct 21, 2024: Ppl at work be like: Happy Monday! Happy Tuesday! Happy Wednesday! Happy Thursday! Happy Friday!
Oct 20, 2024: Conspiracy I believe to be true: Last Week Tonight airs at 11pm on Sunday specifically NOT to be watched at 11pm on Sunday. It’s designed to be …
Oct 20, 2024: It’s really that simple
Oct 20, 2024: The best description of 4chan I ever heard was “geniuses pretending to be idiots, and idiots pretending to be geniuses” and I think that now generally …
Oct 19, 2024: Every two years or so I rediscover Yerba maté and think “yes rainforest mother, grant me earth energy and guide my creative explorations throughout …
Oct 19, 2024: The term ‘bodacious’ is a portmanteau of the words bold and audacious, which means you absolutely can (and should) describe your Q4 OKRs as …
Oct 19, 2024: 🎵 you don’t always have to work out hard
Oct 18, 2024: You ever wake up and it’s Monday morning and you’re like AHHHHHHH and all of a sudden it’s Friday night, and you’re like …
Oct 18, 2024: The Lord of the Rings Trilogy was filmed in the final years before the 9/11 attack, and was released just a few months after it. Meaning, it’s quite …
Oct 18, 2024: Whenever you find yourself thinking that what you do for a living is meaningless, remember that Apple employs people that work on the Contacts app
Oct 18, 2024: Love being described as a ‘Knowledge Worker’. Workin’ that knowledge. Shovel it, stack it, bend it, smack it. Shaping towering towers of knowledge, …
Oct 18, 2024: Better to be the Enemy Within than the Enemy Without, as I like to say
Oct 18, 2024: I hope my midlife crisis includes more than just like, buying clothes from Marine Layer
Oct 18, 2024: Thinking about the time the German billionaire founder of the supermarket chain Aldi was kidnapped, paid the ransom, then tried to write the ransom as …
Oct 17, 2024: Scrolling through the list of people who liked my post thinking: they’re all so proud of me 🤗
Oct 17, 2024: Feel bad for people who drive Maseratis. Like yeah you’re rich, but you’re clearly not as rich as you want to be… are you not hitting your goals? You …